Color Me Constitutionalistic

Say Goodbye to Big Bell. We did - hallelujah!

25 February 2007

Wearin' the Pointy Boots

In a recent letter to the editor regarding Code Enforcement Officer Jim Young, the writer left out at least one fact that I know of.

Fact: During Jim Young's tenure as a "law enforcement" officer working in Key West code enforcement, he allowed me to be railroaded before the Special Magistrate, accused of a felony (impersonating a contractor, for which there is jail time if convicted) solely on the word of one of his minions who spent weeks after Wilma harassing me. Jim could have stopped it. Joe April could have stopped it. But they didn't. They allowed it to continue relentlessly. As far as I'm concerned, they may as well have been wielding a staple gun themselves.

The hearing was a farce, a waste of everyone's time and money. Said minion - the county's star, er, only witness - did not show up to the hearing. Without his testimony and with no other evidence to present, the charges were dismissed. Said minion was later quietly transferred out of the county. He should have been fired.

Jim Young knew his minion would not be there that day. He knew the case would be dismissed. Forcing me to hire an attorney and show up to this Kangaroo Court was part of my punishment. With plenty of time before the hearing date, why didn't they reschedule for when the minion could be there and convict me for the criminal they alleged me to be? Because they didn't have a case. In a real court, this would never have been brought to "trial." This was an exercise in showing me who's the boss.

As a Key West resident since 1978 and an uppity former property owner, I have suffered more than once at the hands of code enforcement with no recourse. If you are a property owner, you don't have any rights when it comes to code enforcement. They hold ALL the cards. And they will tell you that to your face with a smile on theirs, like a Mafia don.

A former head of code enforcement told my husband his job was to protect contractors. He said it right out loud. In front of the three other code enforcement minions he'd brought with him in an attempt to intimidate unintimidate-able Hal. It takes four people to inspect a stair install? Hardly. If you've been at the receiving end of the pointy code enforcement boot, you know egg-zactly what I'm talkin' about. If you've never had the pleasure, ask any property owner who's ever set foot inside the building department.

In 12 years as a real estate broker in Key West, I've heard countless stories of code enforcement harassment. If you ask me, they should all be fired. Not just the perps, but the silent witnesses as well. Any government employee who has observed harassment of a taxpayer by a fellow employee and who does not speak up, has screwed the person who pays their salary. In the real world, they call this "violating the public trust."

Code enforcement is a shake-down racket. It ain't about public safety. It's about Who's The Boss. The truly screwy thing about Key West's code enforcement racket is that they don't harass you for money. They don't ask for bribes. That I know of, anyway. They do it just for fun. Just to show you who's the boss. And because they have nothing better to do.

A note on recourse. Try getting an attorney to represent you against the city. HA. I called all the big names, none of whom would take the case. "Futile," one of them warned. "I have my own case with code enforcement going on," another lamented. "Settle with them, right or wrong," all the others advised. In the end, I found a brilliant local attorney to take the case, someone no one had heard of. I won't write his name here solely for fear of reprisal against him by code enforcement. Scary.

Daring to dream as I do, it looks like the current administration is doing something about the local protection racket. Key West may be liberating itself from the old guard. I'd suggest a code enforcement Citizen Watch Dog to go along with it. An uppity property owner would be perfect.

26 May 2006

Key West Crackdown

A story in today's Key West Citizen brings back fond memories.

11 November 2005

Wilma Survivors

Welcome to Wilma World

"How did you do in the storm?" is the phrase around town. Everyone is asking, everyone is telling. The story of our lives is now told in two distinct sections: B.W. (Before Wilma) and A.W. (After Wilma). We are currently a town of very very tired people, some of us still completely overwhelmed. It's looking like many households will be for awhile. For every clean-up task you complete, four more appear. It's pretty daunting.

But everyone is putting one foot in front of the other. I ran into my friend Mimi who lost EVERYTHING, she was smiling and asked how I was doing. Jack, who also lost EVERYTHING, told me today he is taking it one day at a time. Wendy had 6' of water in her house (she lives in the neighborhood where the video was shot). She is still in shock. She won't be home for months, is looking for a place to live and some comfortable shoes. When your entire house is flooded, it's like rebuilding: you take out the wet walls from the ground up to about 4' which means taking out all bathrooms, kitchens, all furniture, doors, everything. Then you rebuild, repaint, refurnish. I just left a CBS house that had only studs from the floor up to 4'... It is estimated that 60% of the homes got some flooding and these are just four stories. There are plenty more.

The video? Very very real, get it at Wilma video. Right after the storm, you could see a rough draft online. I spoke to Mr. Marrero and he said he'd had over 5000 downloads of the video in the first two weeks and it crashed the server... they have completed a DVD and offer it for sale. Awesome.

For all Wilma Survivors in town, there are two excellent survivor parties coming up. The first is tomorrow night, Saturday, at Blue Heaven starting at 7:30pm. The Survivors (Quint Lange, Din and Woody Allen, Elmo Hooten) are in town and will be playing, $10 entry fee gets you a Caribbean Pork Dinner with all the trimmings and a chance to dance under the stars. All proceeds benefit Womankind - don't miss this, it's one of the best parties of the year and practically free! I'll be there serving drinks and calling out raffle prize winners. Please join us!

Next weekend, Skipper Kripitz is hosting his first "Rarely Heard Piano Pals" at St. Paul's, Sunday 11/20 4pm. It's a hurricane benefit party, $10 donation at the door, students 19 or under free. This sounds like a very good time!

We are surviving. The only bad news is that I'm experiencing life on the pointy end of a Code Enforcement boot. I'm posting the full Lenny Bruce version on my blog. (Of course I have a blog. I'm chatty Cathy in print.)

The long and short of it is that I pulled some drywall that wasn't my own and was red-tagged. According to the city anyone can do that in this time of emergency. I called the Code Enforcement Guy and gave him an earful. I'm stressed, what can I say?

Beware fellow citizens, even if you are within your rights, NEVER NEVER EVER tell a CE Guy what you are thinking because now I'm the only person in town who has to get a licensed contractor to hang drywall. Mr. CEG determined he can't allow me to do what everyone else is allowed to do because this would hinder his ability to do his job in the future. Would that be his job of harassing working citizens? Sloppy drywall hardly seems like a safety issue.

Have you tried to get a licensed contractor today? HAHAHAHAHAHA. My first 18 calls to contractors asking for drywall help for this 500sf cottage netted howls of laughter, and/or "we're not taking anymore drywall work - call me in two weeks". Gary the Carpenter, God bless him, took pity and sent a guy over who is now working to finish the job and get my tenants home. Gary is my personal hero.

This week, not content with a stop work order and 5 visits to the property so far (can't the man find any useful work to do?) I'm told Mr. CEG intends to serve me with a notice of violation for working as a contractor without a license. This is a felony. A felony is punishable by death. Or a few years in the Big House. I'm in hiding now. If he finds me, I'm afraid he will try to staple gun the thing to my chest. The man likes his staple gun. Anyway, please send cigarettes, I will need them in prison.

Real estate is waking up to the A.W. market. A few of you have asked after Pollyanna. We administered mild shock treatments, she died on the table once and saw God. Turns out God IS a woman. Pollyanna is recalled to life, still groggy and on some wonderful medication. I'll keep you posted on her progress.

Something incredible happened overnight: the ruella is blooming again. It was under 3' of saltwater, it was so brown and dead-looking. But there are purple flowers out there today. The periwinkle is coming back, the buttonwoods all seem to be thriving. It's possible Key West could be glorious by the new year. This will definitely help the recovery move along. Come for a visit, keep sending the white light.

See you at Blue Heaven on Saturday night,

Sally
...in sunny Key West Florida!